Boobus Americanus as California attorney

Boobus Americanus as California attorney is the subject of this blog post. As I have mentioned in my earlier blog posts I have worked in the legal field in California for many years. While I am no longer located in California I do try to keep with at least some of what is happening there.

I mentioned a Chintzy attorney in one of my earlier blog posts.  Loyal readers will remember him. He is so cheap he is not just a penny pincher he is a fraction of a penny pincher. See my earlier blog post: http://boobusamericanus.blogspot.com/2012/04/boobus-americanus-as-attorneys.html

This guy is a real piece of work.   He must have had a half decent attorney because it took almost 2 years to bring this case to trial in the United States District Court located in Santa Ana, California.  I was thinking that he might be able to delay it until crucial evidence was no longer available.  Not a chance.  The feds had tape recordings that his own client had made of their conversation. Incredible! Finally in May of 2013 he was convicted by a jury of bribing a federal government employee! And Chintzy did not even get any money out of the deal! Talk about not having the sense that God gave a crab apple. This guy is not only a shyster, he is incredibly stupid as well.  As a result of his stupidity he will be disbarred and lose his law license very quickly.

I have to admit I got a certain smug feeling when I read about his conviction.  This guy really was something else.  He was truly a “lawyer in name only”, what I like to call a LINO. The only time this guy wanted to be the attorney was when it was time to collect the money!!

His attitude was something else.  This guy was such a dumbsh** he once turned down someone I had referred to him who wanted to have his criminal record expunged which in this persons case would have been pretty close to a “slam dunk”. Chintzy did not want to do the job because he thought $1,500.00 was not enough money!!  He wanted at least $2,500.00 And this was almost 15 years ago! Yet Chintzy took on another case where the client\s former attorney stated “good luck getting paid by this guy”. Chintzy took on the case very close to the trial date for a measly retainer of $1,000.00!!!

I could write several more blog posts just about Chintzy but I will close with this. His long time law office administrator whom he worked with for around 20 years or so is a twice convicted felon!! And one of the cases actually went to the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals which in a published case upheld his conviction.

Stay tuned. More to come on the subject of Boobus Americanus as California attorney.

Boobus americanus as attorneys, part three

Hello again loyal readers. The Old Cynic is back with Boobus Americanus as attorneys, part three.  As I mentioned in parts one and two, I have worked for many years in the legal field here in California and worked with quite a few attorneys. Some good ones to be sure. But I have also worked with some real “winners”.

Let me begin with some examples. 

This attorney I will call “Cakewalk”. This guy was something else. He actually worked in insurance defense but he fancied himself as a “litigator.” He was definitely anything but.

I worked on one case where someone had asked for a restraining order against a client, when the client and the attorney showed up at the hearing, the other party did not show up.  So the judge granted their request for attorney fees for having to defend against the charges and appear in Court when the other party did not show up. The judge awarded something like $2,000.00 or so in attorney fees against the party who did not show up. He then prepared a proposed order for the Judge to sign in which he included wording such as” “The Court finds that so and so filed frivolous charges against blank” and similar statements Needless to say the judge did NOT say that and the proposed order was not signed for over a month. When we checked with the attorney service as to why the order had not been signed, they checked with the clerk who works for the judge who told them the judge would not sign it because of the wording that Cakewalk included. When I deleted the wording the order was signed within a week or so.

This guy was something else.  It is my opinion that he was in an unhappy marriage as there was one secretary there who was shall I say, “Intelligence challenged.” In other words folks she was a ditz. She could not even spell simple words correctly! She once took over 6 weeks to contact a client about something important, yet when I had to use her computer for something I could not help but notice that she had downloaded the latest Christmas them screen saver for her computer. When another attorney and I were discussing her, Cakewalk came into the office and said simply, “She has big tits.”  And that was true. But I would rather work with someone who knows what they are doing. If I want to see big breasts I can visit a girlie bar just a few miles away where I can ogle to my heart’s content and I do not have to pretend I am not ogling. What can I say I’m an old fashioned kind of guy.

Cakewalk was like the pompous drunk in that he attracted bad clients like poop attracts flies.  He had one that owed him around $30,000.00 and he was still doing work for them.  And the cases they had were in the words of another attorney who worked with Cakewalk at the time, “dead bang losers.”

One afternoon, the client who owed all that money was in my office for something, Cakewalk came in and started talking tough to him in front of me saying that he needed to be paid something like $8,000.00 or he would not be able to keep working for the client.  If memory serves me correctly the clients would up filing a bankruptcy and I doubt Cakewalk got paid much of what he was owed. Another client he used to have was under indictment from the Securities and Exchange Commission. 

Stay tuned. More to come on Boobus American, not only as attorneys but in all aspects as well.