Boobus Americanus as California attorney

Boobus Americanus as California attorney is the subject of this blog post. As I have mentioned in my earlier blog posts I have worked in the legal field in California for many years. While I am no longer located in California I do try to keep with at least some of what is happening there.

I mentioned a Chintzy attorney in one of my earlier blog posts.  Loyal readers will remember him. He is so cheap he is not just a penny pincher he is a fraction of a penny pincher. See my earlier blog post: http://boobusamericanus.blogspot.com/2012/04/boobus-americanus-as-attorneys.html

This guy is a real piece of work.   He must have had a half decent attorney because it took almost 2 years to bring this case to trial in the United States District Court located in Santa Ana, California.  I was thinking that he might be able to delay it until crucial evidence was no longer available.  Not a chance.  The feds had tape recordings that his own client had made of their conversation. Incredible! Finally in May of 2013 he was convicted by a jury of bribing a federal government employee! And Chintzy did not even get any money out of the deal! Talk about not having the sense that God gave a crab apple. This guy is not only a shyster, he is incredibly stupid as well.  As a result of his stupidity he will be disbarred and lose his law license very quickly.

I have to admit I got a certain smug feeling when I read about his conviction.  This guy really was something else.  He was truly a “lawyer in name only”, what I like to call a LINO. The only time this guy wanted to be the attorney was when it was time to collect the money!!

His attitude was something else.  This guy was such a dumbsh** he once turned down someone I had referred to him who wanted to have his criminal record expunged which in this persons case would have been pretty close to a “slam dunk”. Chintzy did not want to do the job because he thought $1,500.00 was not enough money!!  He wanted at least $2,500.00 And this was almost 15 years ago! Yet Chintzy took on another case where the client\s former attorney stated “good luck getting paid by this guy”. Chintzy took on the case very close to the trial date for a measly retainer of $1,000.00!!!

I could write several more blog posts just about Chintzy but I will close with this. His long time law office administrator whom he worked with for around 20 years or so is a twice convicted felon!! And one of the cases actually went to the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals which in a published case upheld his conviction.

Stay tuned. More to come on the subject of Boobus Americanus as California attorney.

Boobus Americanus and the California legal system

Hello again loyal readers. The Old Cynic is back with Boobus Americanus and the California legal system.  As long time readers are aware, I have worked for many years in the legal field here in California and worked with quite a few people. Some good ones to be sure.

Let me begin with some examples. 

I am working on some cases for an attorney right now that are something else. In one case, his clients are trying to claim that a forklift driver who used to work for them was an independent contractor! Give me a break! The guy drives a forklift for God’s sake.  The attorney e-mailed me the payment records and do you know what they show. Yes folks, they were paying this guy like an employee! They deducted money from his check for taxes, social security, everything that they would for a normal employee! I have no idea what they are planning to do when this goes to trial. I would not want to be the attorney on that case. I do not care what I am getting paid!

And to top things off, the attorney wanted me to research on whether the “employee” who does not have the proper immigration paperwork, hey he is “undocumented”, lol, is entitled to even receive unpaid wages.  I did the research and guess what. Yes he is entitled to all of the same protections that everyone else gets, regardless of his immigration status. It’s California for God’s sake.  I look at it this way. I do not really want to work on these types of cases any more. There is an old legal saying, “Between those who are equally in the right, or equally in the wrong, the law does not interpose.” In other words the law will not get in the middle of a dispute between two people who both have “unclean hands.”  And I do not want to either. I was a legal immigrant to the United States and went through all of the hoops. On the other hand I would bet money that this company knew this guy did not have the right immigration papers when they took him on.

I just finished working on another case for the same attorney where this guy had loaned some money to a California Limited Liability Company. I read the Promissory Note and the terms stated that the money owed was subject to a flat 20% interest, no matter how soon the money was paid back!  If they paid the money back within one week it was still 20%. And to top it off, the guy wanted a late charge of 3% per month!!! Even though the Promissory Note just said a flat late charge of 3%, it did NOT say 3% per month. Even the attorney agreed with me that this guy was going to be lucky just to get the 20% per year interest, let alone everything else that he wanted.

I am so sick of working in the legal field.  I am getting allergic to all of the horsesh**! Oops I mean horse manure. Sorry about that folks. I am sure that it is all that exposure to the horse manure that has caused me to develop an allergy.  Like people who develop an allergy to latex after wearing latex gloves for so long. Same principle.

Stay tuned. More to come on Boobus American, not only as attorneys but in all aspects as well.

The top 5 ways to tell if you might be a political independent

    THE TOP 5 WAYS TO TELL IF YOU MIGHT BE A POLITICAL INDEPENDENT.

There are many ways to tell if you might be a political independent.   I will list the top 5 ways.

If you think that anyone who is 30 years old and calls herself a “student” is full of what bears do in the woods (“you know what”), you might be a political independent.

If you think that someone who would compare the prisoner abuse that happened at Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq with “fraternity hijinks” is full of you know what,  you might be a political independent.

If you think that for the most part, both major political parties are full of you know what, you might be a political independent.

If you have at any time ever thought that choosing between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney was like choosing between lung cancer and emphysema, you might be a political independent.

If you have at any time ever thought that the only real difference between the two major political parties is that each one takes your money out of a different pocket, you might be a political independent.

Comments are welcome so long as they are respectful. Suggestions for other ways to tell if you might be a political independent are also welcome.

Copyright 2012 by The Old Cynic. All rights reserved.

Dealing with Boobus Americanus, part three

Hello again loyal readers. Another Boobus Americanus post is here. This one is part three of  Boobus Americanus as a consumer.  As my loyal readers already know I worked for many years in the legal field in California, working with both attorneys and the general public and for many years I used to prepare paperwork for divorces in the State of California, both contested and uncontested.

Some of the people I had to deal with are to put it mildly, incredible. I had one guy whose wife had filed for divorce and served him so he had me prepare his response.   The marriage was pretty long term, and there were also minor children and property involved.

While meeting with him in my office we got to shooting the breeze and he told me that he worked in the aircraft industry. He made good money. He also emphasized that he was a loyal conservative Republican, talking about several politicians that he admired. He came across as the typical tough talking conservative, even telling me that every month he went for his monthly several mile jog. 

We set up another appointment the next day for him to come to my office to sign the response, and also pay both my fee for preparing the response and the filing fee. I prepared his response. When I got to my office the next morning, the Caller ID on my telephone showed over 20 calls from this guy, and my voice mail had several messages from him, urgently asking me to call him. I did so and he was very worried, saying that his wife had told him that she was going to get an attorney. On the phone he sounded like the complete opposite of the day before. He was thinking about not filing his response. I finally talked him into filing the response to protect his interests.  I mean this guy acted like he had lost his testes, balls, cajones, whatever you want to call them.   The only difference was that he did not have a high voice.   I guess you could call that descending testes syndrome.   I had no choice but to help him find his missing “testes” because he still owed me $250.00 for preparing his response so my money was mixed in.

Boobus Americanus as a male is really something to behold.  Many of them are full of sh**, talking tough one day, and the next acting like the guy I just mentioned.   They either do not really have the stomach for it, or they listen to the attorney they hired who convinces them that fighting for their interests is not worth it. Some of them will fight to protect their interests. Buy many will not,  settling instead for being a “weekend dad.”

The utter two faced hypocritical behavior of Boobus Americanus is something to behold.  I get a secret pleasure out of it. I like to think of it as my hobby.  The hubris is hard to describe.

The male version of Boobus Americanus is a wonder to behold.  These guys know in their heart that they are getting screwed, but they mostly do nothing but bitch and moan about it.  I am so glad that I left the United States,  particularly California and moved to Asia.  I cannot stand being around Boobus Americanus.  I live for the day when I no longer have to deal with them.

Stay tuned. More stories to come on Boobus Americanus.

Dealing with Boobus Americanus, part two

Hello again loyal readers. Another Boobus Americanus post is here. This one is part two of  Boobus Americanus as a consumer.  As loyal readers already know I worked for many years in the legal field in California, working with both attorneys and the general public.

As I mentioned in part one, I used to prepare paperwork for divorces in the State of California. And some of the calls I used to get are incredible.  I would receive calls from people who wanted to get divorced but they could not locate their husband or wife to have them served.  The utter lack of knowledge of the legal system by Boobus Americanus is something to behold.  I get a secret pleasure out of it. I like to think of it as my hobby. 

These people would call and tell me that they talked to their friend who told them that all they had to do was place a small ad in the newspaper to serve their spouse!! WTF! First the law in California requires that they diligently try to locate their spouse by having a private detective or someone else search through public records to find them. Then they have to submit a declaration to a Judge who will decide whether to approve it.  The notice must be published in a newspaper close to where the last known address is. And readers this not a small classified ad.  Back in 1995 or so the newspaper charged at least $350.00! It is probably double that now.

But these people really thought it was like placing a small ad in the newspaper. It should be easier than a normal case, not harder. What was I talking about? The truth, that is what I was talking about.

But Boobus Americanus thinks they know everything.  Pompous idiots is the only way to describe most of them. It is not so much that they do not know anything, they think they know something which is even worse.  But it would be easier to pull teeth from a tiger than get them to admit that.  The hubris is hard to describe.

Boobus Americanus thinks everything, including the legal system is like going down to the shopping mall. If they don’t like what you are telling them they just assume that they can go to the next “store” and find a better deal. Non-stop shopping, right. Shop til you drop.

Boobus Americanus is in the words of one commentator, a nation of obese, voyeuristic, money grubbing hypocrites.  And that is putting it mildly. I am so glad that I left the United States,  particularly California and moved to Asia.  I cannot stand being around Boobus Americanus.

Stay tuned. More stories to come on Boobus Americanus.

Boobus americanus as attorneys, part three

Hello again loyal readers. The Old Cynic is back with Boobus Americanus as attorneys, part three.  As I mentioned in parts one and two, I have worked for many years in the legal field here in California and worked with quite a few attorneys. Some good ones to be sure. But I have also worked with some real “winners”.

Let me begin with some examples. 

This attorney I will call “Cakewalk”. This guy was something else. He actually worked in insurance defense but he fancied himself as a “litigator.” He was definitely anything but.

I worked on one case where someone had asked for a restraining order against a client, when the client and the attorney showed up at the hearing, the other party did not show up.  So the judge granted their request for attorney fees for having to defend against the charges and appear in Court when the other party did not show up. The judge awarded something like $2,000.00 or so in attorney fees against the party who did not show up. He then prepared a proposed order for the Judge to sign in which he included wording such as” “The Court finds that so and so filed frivolous charges against blank” and similar statements Needless to say the judge did NOT say that and the proposed order was not signed for over a month. When we checked with the attorney service as to why the order had not been signed, they checked with the clerk who works for the judge who told them the judge would not sign it because of the wording that Cakewalk included. When I deleted the wording the order was signed within a week or so.

This guy was something else.  It is my opinion that he was in an unhappy marriage as there was one secretary there who was shall I say, “Intelligence challenged.” In other words folks she was a ditz. She could not even spell simple words correctly! She once took over 6 weeks to contact a client about something important, yet when I had to use her computer for something I could not help but notice that she had downloaded the latest Christmas them screen saver for her computer. When another attorney and I were discussing her, Cakewalk came into the office and said simply, “She has big tits.”  And that was true. But I would rather work with someone who knows what they are doing. If I want to see big breasts I can visit a girlie bar just a few miles away where I can ogle to my heart’s content and I do not have to pretend I am not ogling. What can I say I’m an old fashioned kind of guy.

Cakewalk was like the pompous drunk in that he attracted bad clients like poop attracts flies.  He had one that owed him around $30,000.00 and he was still doing work for them.  And the cases they had were in the words of another attorney who worked with Cakewalk at the time, “dead bang losers.”

One afternoon, the client who owed all that money was in my office for something, Cakewalk came in and started talking tough to him in front of me saying that he needed to be paid something like $8,000.00 or he would not be able to keep working for the client.  If memory serves me correctly the clients would up filing a bankruptcy and I doubt Cakewalk got paid much of what he was owed. Another client he used to have was under indictment from the Securities and Exchange Commission. 

Stay tuned. More to come on Boobus American, not only as attorneys but in all aspects as well.

Dealing with Boobus Americanus

Another Boobus Americanus post is here. This one is about Boobus Americanus as a consumer.  As loyal readers already know I worked for many years in the legal field in California, working with both attorneys and the general public.

The attitude of Boobus Americanus is astounding.  Everyone is so mesmerized by the horse manure of advertising that they want the sun, the moon, and the stars, all rolled into one, at 60% off to boot! I sell sample legal documents on the internet as one of my side businesses. A few weeks back I got an e-mail from someone complaining that the document they had purchased was the wrong one. The nasty e-mail ended with “Thanks for nothing.” I looked into it and discovered that Boobus Americanus Twittus had not read the description of the document. In other words it was her fault she had purchased the wrong document.  The ditz needs to get a new pair of glasses at Lenscrafters for heavens sake!  Or try eating more carrots.  I was tempted to point that out to her by replying to her e-mail but finally decided against it.

Incredible.  Another purchaser of a document expected me to spend who knows how much time explaining everything to her. Give me a break! The document sells for $14.99 and I only get around 80% of that amount.  When I pointed out that she was asking for time that she had not paid for, she complained and said I had not right to be, in her words, “an ass”. She said that I
could be an ass if I had went to law school.  But since I had not I had no right. Give me a break. The disclaimer on the document description states that I am NOT an attorney. What did you think you were going to get for $14.99 lady?  What an attitude. If I had gone to law school I could complain all I wanted. In fact I could have screwed her over and she would not have done anything.  After all, everyone knows, but will never admit, that attorneys are basically a bullsh***er with a license. Yes some are good and decent people.

Around a week ago I got another e-mail from someone who lived God knows where who wanted me to e-mail them a document and then they would send me a check.  WTF?  He said he could not pay online. Guess what dude! As the old sayings goes, “Money talks and bullsh** walks.”

Everyone wants something for nothing. Understandable to some extent, but the gall and sheer
audacity of Boobus Americanus is hard to fathom. It is like they know deep down that the system sucks, they just want to screw someone else over any chance they get.

I used to prepare documents for divorces in California.   A guy called me one day and we started talking.  This guy was unbelievable!! He had several kids but did not want me to list them on the divorce petition. And it gets better folks!! This guy asked me, “Can you back date the divorce filing a few years?” WTF again!!

More to come on Boobus Americanus as a consumer. And more posts to come on Boobus Americanus as attorneys as well.  Stay tuned!