The top 5 ways to tell if you might be a political independent

    THE TOP 5 WAYS TO TELL IF YOU MIGHT BE A POLITICAL INDEPENDENT.

There are many ways to tell if you might be a political independent.   I will list the top 5 ways.

If you think that anyone who is 30 years old and calls herself a “student” is full of what bears do in the woods (“you know what”), you might be a political independent.

If you think that someone who would compare the prisoner abuse that happened at Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq with “fraternity hijinks” is full of you know what,  you might be a political independent.

If you think that for the most part, both major political parties are full of you know what, you might be a political independent.

If you have at any time ever thought that choosing between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney was like choosing between lung cancer and emphysema, you might be a political independent.

If you have at any time ever thought that the only real difference between the two major political parties is that each one takes your money out of a different pocket, you might be a political independent.

Comments are welcome so long as they are respectful. Suggestions for other ways to tell if you might be a political independent are also welcome.

Copyright 2012 by The Old Cynic. All rights reserved.

Dealing with Boobus Americanus, part three

Hello again loyal readers. Another Boobus Americanus post is here. This one is part three of  Boobus Americanus as a consumer.  As my loyal readers already know I worked for many years in the legal field in California, working with both attorneys and the general public and for many years I used to prepare paperwork for divorces in the State of California, both contested and uncontested.

Some of the people I had to deal with are to put it mildly, incredible. I had one guy whose wife had filed for divorce and served him so he had me prepare his response.   The marriage was pretty long term, and there were also minor children and property involved.

While meeting with him in my office we got to shooting the breeze and he told me that he worked in the aircraft industry. He made good money. He also emphasized that he was a loyal conservative Republican, talking about several politicians that he admired. He came across as the typical tough talking conservative, even telling me that every month he went for his monthly several mile jog. 

We set up another appointment the next day for him to come to my office to sign the response, and also pay both my fee for preparing the response and the filing fee. I prepared his response. When I got to my office the next morning, the Caller ID on my telephone showed over 20 calls from this guy, and my voice mail had several messages from him, urgently asking me to call him. I did so and he was very worried, saying that his wife had told him that she was going to get an attorney. On the phone he sounded like the complete opposite of the day before. He was thinking about not filing his response. I finally talked him into filing the response to protect his interests.  I mean this guy acted like he had lost his testes, balls, cajones, whatever you want to call them.   The only difference was that he did not have a high voice.   I guess you could call that descending testes syndrome.   I had no choice but to help him find his missing “testes” because he still owed me $250.00 for preparing his response so my money was mixed in.

Boobus Americanus as a male is really something to behold.  Many of them are full of sh**, talking tough one day, and the next acting like the guy I just mentioned.   They either do not really have the stomach for it, or they listen to the attorney they hired who convinces them that fighting for their interests is not worth it. Some of them will fight to protect their interests. Buy many will not,  settling instead for being a “weekend dad.”

The utter two faced hypocritical behavior of Boobus Americanus is something to behold.  I get a secret pleasure out of it. I like to think of it as my hobby.  The hubris is hard to describe.

The male version of Boobus Americanus is a wonder to behold.  These guys know in their heart that they are getting screwed, but they mostly do nothing but bitch and moan about it.  I am so glad that I left the United States,  particularly California and moved to Asia.  I cannot stand being around Boobus Americanus.  I live for the day when I no longer have to deal with them.

Stay tuned. More stories to come on Boobus Americanus.

Dealing with Boobus Americanus, part two

Hello again loyal readers. Another Boobus Americanus post is here. This one is part two of  Boobus Americanus as a consumer.  As loyal readers already know I worked for many years in the legal field in California, working with both attorneys and the general public.

As I mentioned in part one, I used to prepare paperwork for divorces in the State of California. And some of the calls I used to get are incredible.  I would receive calls from people who wanted to get divorced but they could not locate their husband or wife to have them served.  The utter lack of knowledge of the legal system by Boobus Americanus is something to behold.  I get a secret pleasure out of it. I like to think of it as my hobby. 

These people would call and tell me that they talked to their friend who told them that all they had to do was place a small ad in the newspaper to serve their spouse!! WTF! First the law in California requires that they diligently try to locate their spouse by having a private detective or someone else search through public records to find them. Then they have to submit a declaration to a Judge who will decide whether to approve it.  The notice must be published in a newspaper close to where the last known address is. And readers this not a small classified ad.  Back in 1995 or so the newspaper charged at least $350.00! It is probably double that now.

But these people really thought it was like placing a small ad in the newspaper. It should be easier than a normal case, not harder. What was I talking about? The truth, that is what I was talking about.

But Boobus Americanus thinks they know everything.  Pompous idiots is the only way to describe most of them. It is not so much that they do not know anything, they think they know something which is even worse.  But it would be easier to pull teeth from a tiger than get them to admit that.  The hubris is hard to describe.

Boobus Americanus thinks everything, including the legal system is like going down to the shopping mall. If they don’t like what you are telling them they just assume that they can go to the next “store” and find a better deal. Non-stop shopping, right. Shop til you drop.

Boobus Americanus is in the words of one commentator, a nation of obese, voyeuristic, money grubbing hypocrites.  And that is putting it mildly. I am so glad that I left the United States,  particularly California and moved to Asia.  I cannot stand being around Boobus Americanus.

Stay tuned. More stories to come on Boobus Americanus.

Boobus americanus as attorneys, part three

Hello again loyal readers. The Old Cynic is back with Boobus Americanus as attorneys, part three.  As I mentioned in parts one and two, I have worked for many years in the legal field here in California and worked with quite a few attorneys. Some good ones to be sure. But I have also worked with some real “winners”.

Let me begin with some examples. 

This attorney I will call “Cakewalk”. This guy was something else. He actually worked in insurance defense but he fancied himself as a “litigator.” He was definitely anything but.

I worked on one case where someone had asked for a restraining order against a client, when the client and the attorney showed up at the hearing, the other party did not show up.  So the judge granted their request for attorney fees for having to defend against the charges and appear in Court when the other party did not show up. The judge awarded something like $2,000.00 or so in attorney fees against the party who did not show up. He then prepared a proposed order for the Judge to sign in which he included wording such as” “The Court finds that so and so filed frivolous charges against blank” and similar statements Needless to say the judge did NOT say that and the proposed order was not signed for over a month. When we checked with the attorney service as to why the order had not been signed, they checked with the clerk who works for the judge who told them the judge would not sign it because of the wording that Cakewalk included. When I deleted the wording the order was signed within a week or so.

This guy was something else.  It is my opinion that he was in an unhappy marriage as there was one secretary there who was shall I say, “Intelligence challenged.” In other words folks she was a ditz. She could not even spell simple words correctly! She once took over 6 weeks to contact a client about something important, yet when I had to use her computer for something I could not help but notice that she had downloaded the latest Christmas them screen saver for her computer. When another attorney and I were discussing her, Cakewalk came into the office and said simply, “She has big tits.”  And that was true. But I would rather work with someone who knows what they are doing. If I want to see big breasts I can visit a girlie bar just a few miles away where I can ogle to my heart’s content and I do not have to pretend I am not ogling. What can I say I’m an old fashioned kind of guy.

Cakewalk was like the pompous drunk in that he attracted bad clients like poop attracts flies.  He had one that owed him around $30,000.00 and he was still doing work for them.  And the cases they had were in the words of another attorney who worked with Cakewalk at the time, “dead bang losers.”

One afternoon, the client who owed all that money was in my office for something, Cakewalk came in and started talking tough to him in front of me saying that he needed to be paid something like $8,000.00 or he would not be able to keep working for the client.  If memory serves me correctly the clients would up filing a bankruptcy and I doubt Cakewalk got paid much of what he was owed. Another client he used to have was under indictment from the Securities and Exchange Commission. 

Stay tuned. More to come on Boobus American, not only as attorneys but in all aspects as well.

Dealing with Boobus Americanus

Another Boobus Americanus post is here. This one is about Boobus Americanus as a consumer.  As loyal readers already know I worked for many years in the legal field in California, working with both attorneys and the general public.

The attitude of Boobus Americanus is astounding.  Everyone is so mesmerized by the horse manure of advertising that they want the sun, the moon, and the stars, all rolled into one, at 60% off to boot! I sell sample legal documents on the internet as one of my side businesses. A few weeks back I got an e-mail from someone complaining that the document they had purchased was the wrong one. The nasty e-mail ended with “Thanks for nothing.” I looked into it and discovered that Boobus Americanus Twittus had not read the description of the document. In other words it was her fault she had purchased the wrong document.  The ditz needs to get a new pair of glasses at Lenscrafters for heavens sake!  Or try eating more carrots.  I was tempted to point that out to her by replying to her e-mail but finally decided against it.

Incredible.  Another purchaser of a document expected me to spend who knows how much time explaining everything to her. Give me a break! The document sells for $14.99 and I only get around 80% of that amount.  When I pointed out that she was asking for time that she had not paid for, she complained and said I had not right to be, in her words, “an ass”. She said that I
could be an ass if I had went to law school.  But since I had not I had no right. Give me a break. The disclaimer on the document description states that I am NOT an attorney. What did you think you were going to get for $14.99 lady?  What an attitude. If I had gone to law school I could complain all I wanted. In fact I could have screwed her over and she would not have done anything.  After all, everyone knows, but will never admit, that attorneys are basically a bullsh***er with a license. Yes some are good and decent people.

Around a week ago I got another e-mail from someone who lived God knows where who wanted me to e-mail them a document and then they would send me a check.  WTF?  He said he could not pay online. Guess what dude! As the old sayings goes, “Money talks and bullsh** walks.”

Everyone wants something for nothing. Understandable to some extent, but the gall and sheer
audacity of Boobus Americanus is hard to fathom. It is like they know deep down that the system sucks, they just want to screw someone else over any chance they get.

I used to prepare documents for divorces in California.   A guy called me one day and we started talking.  This guy was unbelievable!! He had several kids but did not want me to list them on the divorce petition. And it gets better folks!! This guy asked me, “Can you back date the divorce filing a few years?” WTF again!!

More to come on Boobus Americanus as a consumer. And more posts to come on Boobus Americanus as attorneys as well.  Stay tuned!

Boobus Americanus and the legal system, part five

Now for part five of Boobus Americanus and the legal system.   As I mentioned in parts one through four, I have worked in the legal field in the State of California for a long time. And I have seen some things that would curdle your blood. 

I am currently working on a case where two women met and began dating, then began a romantic relationship. They started buying real estate together. They bought quite a few properties together, sold a few and then bought more. They should have sold the properties back in 2006 or 2007 when the market was a lot higher, taken their profits and moved on. But no, they wanted to play landlord. They must have thought they were playing Monopoly®.

The one woman I will call Amy had convinced the other woman to take her name off the title to one of the properties claiming that would help her with her tax problems.  She is now refusing to place her name back on the title. Another property was purchased and title only placed in the name of Amy. She told the other woman who I will call Judy that once the escrow finished that she would add her name to the title. She did not add her name to the title.

Then in early 2012 their relationship began falling apart.  They own five (5) properties here in Southern California as joint tenants. Judy contacted the attorney that I do some work for to have him file a complaint to partition the five properties they own together, and to request that the Court order that Judy’s name be placed on the title to the other two properties.

I began preparing the complaint which took a long time as I had to include the entire legal description of the properties in the complaint. I work out of my own office for the attorney but his support staff who work at his office are so incompetent that I cannot trust them to attach any exhibits to anything! It is really hard to find decent help nowadays. I think the main reason is that most attorney’s want to pay as little as possible for the people who work for them.  I can command a decent rate because I know what I am doing, at least most of the time.

The attorney wanted me to prepare a whole slew of causes of action. I had prepared the initial complaint with just 3 causes of action, including the cause of action that would allow him to file a lien against the two properties that are only in the name of Amy. This would prevent her from refinancing or selling the two properties. But Amy and especially the attorney wanted to load the complaint up with as much horse manure as they could. Unbelievable.

I swear some of these attorney’s are something else. They want to add everything that they can. It is like they think they are building the ultimate cheeseburger or something. Give me a break! Go to Jack in the Box® if you want the Ultimate Cheeseburger®.

I e-mailed him the complaint last week and he e-mailed back saying that he wanted more causes of action. Guess what? Amy went to an attorney and filed her own complaint last week and then contacted Judy and told her that he was placing a lien on ALL of the properties, including a property that Amy had bought before she even knew Judy.  So now I had to turn the complaint into a cross-complaint, also known as a counter suit.  And Judy gained the upper hand because Amy and the attorney took their sweet time getting me the correct information.

Now Amy has the upper hand as Judy cannot refinance or sell the property that she has owned for over ten (10) years. And Judy keeps changing the information. The details change and certain amounts of money allegedly put into the properties changes. Either Judy is a scatterbrain or she is trying to pull something.

It is amazing what people will do once their relationship goes bad. They want to use the legal system to get back at the other person. You would not believe the number of cases like that I have seen in my many years of working in the legal field here in California.

To me these two women are nothing but two lemon sucking ditzes. Hey if they want to have a relationship together that is their choice. But do not use the legal system to get back at each other. Because once you start throwing mud around it gets on everyone. And when you get into Court if both parties have mud on them it gets really hard for a Judge or Jury to figure out who is who. As the old saying goes, do not come into Court with “unclean hands.”

I am working on another case where this husband and wife bought a vacation cabin in the mountains of Southern California.  They rent it out on a short term basis for holidays and that sort of thing.   It is a two story property and the stairs leading down to the first floor are very steep, although there is a warning sign posted warning that the stairs are very steep and that someone can fall down the stairs.

However, they did not have liability insurance to cover them in the event that someone injured themself at the vacation cabin.  They do have the renters acknowledge that they have agreed to the terms of their guest rental agreement which states that they release the owners from all liability. Guess what happened?

Someone rented the cabin and fell down the stairs. She was injured quite severely and has sued the couple. Normally I do not work on defending personal injury cases because virtually everyone has liability insurance. Their insurance company hires an attorney to defend them.

This couple must have smoked a lot of dope when they were younger because in my opinion anyone who does not have liability insurance in California is nuts. This is the most sue happy State in all of the United States. You have probably heard the joke about why New Jersey got all of the toxic waste dumps and California got all of the lawyers. Because New Jersey got first choice!!! Give me a break. I have a vision of this couple, particularly the guy, probably the type who has one of those pictures hanging on his wall with some trite platitude like “Teamwork” or someone climbing a mountain, something like that. In other words a total idiot.  The type of idiot who tries to save money on his insurance premiums by using a release in the guest rental agreement which may or may not hold up in Court.

This guy is going to spend at least ten or twenty times what it would have cost him in insurance premiums to defend this lawsuit, and that is assuming that he wins!

Give me a break. I know California is like granola, full of fruits, nuts and flakes but that is unreal.  Stay tuned. More to come on Boobus Americanus and the legal system.

Boobus Americanus and the 2012 elections

Election day is almost here. And who are the two most likely candidates? Mitt Romney and Barack Obama. They are doing all they can to sound different.  But when you get right down to it they are pretty much the same. Apples and oranges may be different fruits, but they are still both fruits. Neither candidate is promising to deal with the mounting deficits, or with the endless wars all over the place.  Neither one will remove the police state measures that are already in place.  Neither candidate will bring the troops home. I have never served in the military but I do know one thing. The job of the military is not to spread democracy all over the world. Their job is to protect the United States of America. Period. And any ditz, idiot or moron who thinks otherwise is full of bad smelling material.  If you want to help people in other countries then join the damn Peace Corps for gods sake!  The job of the military is to make sure that bad people do not invade this country or harm the people living here. They are supposed to take them down, if that does not work than they are supposed to take them out. Period. Not have hundreds of military bases all over the world which are sucking up huge amounts of money.

Ron Paul says a lot of good things in my opinion but he has zero chance to win the Republican nomination. But I do like the fact that the establishment Republicans hate his guts. So do most establishment Democrats too! If they both hate his guts he must be doing something right. 

Gary Johnson is the Libertarian Party candidate, having won the nomination not too long ago. I used to be a card carrying member of that party but I allowed my membership to lapse years ago.
Gary Johnson seems to also say the right things but his problem is that the Libertarian Party is also owned by Big Money. Different Big Money than what owns the Democrats and the Republicans but still Big Money. I am referring to the Koch brothers, also known as the Kochtopus. For some good articles on how the Koch brothers really operate that you will NOT seen on Huffington Post or any other establishment media, click here http://www.lewrockwell.com/gordon/gordon37.html here http://www.lewrockwell.com/gordon/gordon39.html and here http://www.lewrockwell.com/gordon/gordon86.1.html

But the average American cannot see that. I could not see it either for a long time. But I finally opened my eyes and what I saw made me sick to my stomach, literally. I now consider myself as having No Party Affiliation whatsoever.  Big Money has everyone herded into three main camps, the “Conservatives”, the “Liberals”, and the “Libertarians.”  All they do is argue over minutiae and trivia for the most part.  The Democrats blame the Republicans who blame the Democrats.
Like a very dysfunctional family. I see it as a symbiotic relationship.  The three main camps feed off of each other.

There are a few exceptions but not many. Not enough to really matter.

So now matter who you vote for things stay the same. As Emma Goldman once said, “If voting changed anything they would make it illegal.” Voting does not change much of anything despite all the rhetoric thrown about. At the local levels it does change some things but not much. But at the higher levels forget it.

Big Money owns and controls all of the foundations and other non-governmental entities in this country. And Big Money also controls Reason magazine and the Reason foundation. I did not fully realize that until a few years ago.  I no longer subscribe to Reason and have not read it for about 10 years or so. Their dogmatic reliance on the “free market” as if Chevron, ExxonMobil and other companies actually want a “free market.” That is the last thing they want. They want a well managed “free market.” Because if the market were truly free they might not get to make so much money. It is all about the income stream.  The legal system, the medical system, the dental system, Big Pharma. It is all about “managing.” Keeping that income stream going.  Think about it. Does your doctor  make money off of you if you are not sick with some chronic illness. No. Are there honest doctors? Absolutely. But they have to watch themselves because if they stray too far from the herd they will lose their license or worse. I know. That is why I never became a lawyer. They cannot kick me out of the bar association if I am not a member.

What is a sane person to do?  Big Money owns and/or controls everything that matters in this country. Not literally everything but they do not have to. Because if they do not own or control it than it is something that does not matter. Period.

They say this country is the home of free enterprise. But that is not entirely true.  The sad truth is that in this country as Gore Vidal has said you have socialism for the rich, for everyone else you have ruthless dog eat dog capitalism. Big Money always seems to keep their nest feathered one way or another.  And unless something drastically changes they always will.

So in my opinion it will not matter much who wins the election. Because Big Money will win regardless of which candidate wins. And that is a crying shame.  This country deserves a lot better than that. The title of this blog is Boobus Americanus but if only most Americans could see the actual truth it would be a better world.

Stay tuned. More posts to come.

Big Money and Boobus Americanus

Big money goes around the world, Big money give and take, Big money done a power of good,
Big money make mistakes, Big money got a heavy hand, Big money take control,
Big money got a mean streak, Big money got no soul.. The Big Money by Rush. Album: 1981-87 Retrospective II.  Words by Neil Peart, Music by Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson.

This blog post is mostly about Big Money. And how true that Rush song really is.  That really says something when you consider that Rush were big fans of Ayn Rand. I believe in free enterprise as much as the next person but many of the things I have seen are unbelievable.  Big Money, and even Medium Money try to get away with stuff that should land them in jail for god’s sake! If I tried to pull this crap I would wind up cracking rocks for the next few years! Of course I am not rich and politically connected.

As I mentioned in my earlier blog posts, I have worked in the legal field in the State of California for a long time. And I have seen some things that would curdle your blood. 

I am currently working on a case where a large property management company (“big money”) leased a very large commercial building, it is over 90,000 square feet, to a much smaller corporation back in 2008. The problem is that big money had submitted a general plan to build over 200 condominium units at least one month before they leased the building to the smaller corporation. In fact the general plan had been approved by the County Regional Planning Commission before the lease was signed! Now that is proof positive that Big Money got no soul.

So big money knew that they planned to demolish the commercial building even BEFORE they leased it. When I reviewed the lease it was interesting. ALL of one paragraph and most of another paragraph relating to the condition of the property, and the compliance of the property will all applicable building codes had been lined out completely. You could read certain words but it was very hard to do so.

The company that leased the building eventually lost over seventy percent (70%) of the parking spaces as a result of zoning changes and fire safety codes. And they transported cars! So obviously they needed parking spaces. The lease even said at one point, “Lessee transports cars.” Talk about getting royally screwed by big money.  Big Money got a mean streak for sure.

And by the way big money is a California Limited Liability Company that is managed at least partly by a its parent company, which is a Delaware corporation.  I should probably keep following the trail and see where it leads.   It might prove interesting. And if you think I am some kind of anti-capitalist you are sorely mistaken.  I have no problem with capitalism. It is the way that the system is run that upsets me.

And for those “progressives” and “Liberal democrats” who would like to pull their “Huffington Post” crap I just want to point out that Delaware is a blue state, at least since 2000, and even before then it was a swing state.  http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Is_Delaware_a_red_or_a_blue_state

So why does almost every large corporation pick that state. You want the plain English language explanation.  So they can screw over the small shareholders, or in the case of Big Money, they can screw over every one else that they can.  Give me a break. Screwing people over is not a partisan thing. It never has been. I have been screwed over by both Democrats and Republicans so I know it has nothing to do with politics.

Okay. Enough digressions for now.

The small company finally moved out after they found another place. Big money has filed a lawsuit and is seeking what is called an “attachment” against them which means if they win they can attach their assets, bank accounts, etc., even before the case goes to trial. And get this, they tried to include the unpaid rent until early 2014 in their application for an attachment.

The lease had been amended twice. When I checked the second lease amendment I found that because only one authorized person from the small company had signed it, that the second lease amendment was invalid as one of the paragraphs specifically stated that two authorized persons had to sign. Talk about Big Money make mistakes, lol. Gotcha Big Money! I may not have a fancy sheepskin but I know how to read bull**** lease verbiage in my sleep!

And Big Money had not even tried to find another tenant. So I had them there as well. Gotcha again Big Money!

I prepared the opposition to the application for attachment. The attorney I prepared it for sent me an e-mail earlier today and told me the Judge had taken it under submission. The bad thing for the small company is that they owed over $200,000 in unpaid rent from when they occupied the building.  Unfortunately we did not find out about their plan to build condo units until after we had submitted the opposition to the application for attachment.  I am now working with that attorney on preparing a cross-complaint against Big Money to rescind the original lease agreement, fraud, and a lot of other complaints. So do stay tuned.

I just finished up working on another case for the same attorney. I had prepared some discovery questions to the opposing attorney who responded by objecting to almost all of the questions. I read his objections and then proceeded to read the cases that he cited in support of his objections. The first case involved something totally different from the case we were involved in, and the second case actually favored our position, not his! Can you believe that. This guy had most likely never even read either case. He just had his “assistant” look up the citations and they used it without even bothering to read it. Too busy, or too lazy to do their job right.  The opposing attorney sounds like he is only a “figurehead” which means that his name is on the law firm but he is a “lawyer in name only.” To put it another way, the only time this guy wants to be an attorney is when it is time to collect the money! I have seen plenty of that type before.

It is unbelievable the things that I have seen in my many years of working in the legal field here in California. As I have said before, I have seen the legal system here in California up close and personal, and let me tell you what I have seen has horrified me at times. 

Stay tuned. More to come on Boobus Americanus and the legal system.

Boobus Americanus and the legal system, part three

Now for part three of Boobus Americanus and the legal system.   As I mentioned in parts one and two, I have worked in the legal field in the State of California for a long time. And I have seen some things that would curdle your blood.  I have seen the legal system here in California up close and personal, and let me tell you what I have seen has horrified me at times.  I do want to point out that I have also seen many good things as well. But the bad things I have seen are really scary.   But Boobus Americanus thinks everything is just fine. Oh there might be a few problems but they are the exception, not the rule. You know what I say to that. Bull****!!  Problems are in many cases, the rule, not the exception.

I collected Court judgments in California for many years until just a few years ago.  I had two judgments assigned to me back in 2002 or so that were very large, over $500,000.00 each.  The judgments were default judgments meaning that the defendants did not file any answer to the complaint.

They were against two individuals who were also partners in an auto sales business where they sold used cars. The individual who assigned the judgments to me who I shall call Mr. D. had sued them both individually, as partners in their partnership, and the partnership itself. The first person, I will call him Mr. C. had actually signed an agreement with Mr. D. in which he borrowed a certain sum of money which was to be secured by used automobiles. Mr. D. never got paid anything back and he alleged that they sold the cars and kept the money, and also defrauded him. That is the reason for the very large amount of the judgments. 

I began collection proceedings and sent a garnishment notice to a finance company which Mr. D. had told me about. This finance company financed the cars for the partnership, and as the car buyers made their payments the finance company would release money into the account of the partnership. I was able to get over $65,000.00 from the first garnishment. I then scheduled judgment debtor exams for Mr. C. and his partner, Mr. T. When Mr. T. was served I received a call from his bankruptcy attorney informing me that he had filed a bankruptcy. I then requested that he fax me the bankruptcy information which he did.  His attorney also told me on the phone that Mr. T. would fight any further attempts to collect on him as he did not sign anything, and had no knowledge of what Mr. C. was doing. I had to stop my collection efforts against Mr. T. at that point although I still got to keep the money because the account with the finance company was in the name of the partnership, not the individuals.

I reviewed the exhibits that were used to obtain the default judgments and it was then that I found that the attorney was right! Mr. T. had not signed anything in any capacity! Yet the Court found him personally liable even though he had not signed anything!  His partner could legally bind him as a partner on behalf of the partnership, but he could not bind him personally to any contract. Anyone who knows the law would realize this.  Yet that did not stop the Judge, who is no longer sitting on the bench, from entering a judgment against Mr. T. personally, for over $550,000.00 even though he did not sign the contract, either personally, or in his capacity as a partner.

I also worked on a case with the pompous drunk "attorney" I mentioned here, http://boobusamericanus.blogspot.com/2012/04/boobus-americanus-as-attorneys.html and here, http://boobusamericanus.blogspot.com/2012/05/boobus-americanus-as-attorneys-part.html .He had a client who was suing a furniture company claiming the furniture they had sold him was not what they had promised. When I first got the case the client was still saying that they had not credited him back for the furniture which he had returned.  So I had prepared the default judgment paperwork for a certain amount. Later the client finally informed the “attorney” that the furniture company had in fact credited him back for the furniture which he had returned. So instead of the default judgment being around $18,000.00 or so, it was only about $4,000.00. I prepared the revised judgment paperwork But because I was working in the downstairs office I did not print out the paperwork and bring it to the second floor. Instead the office manager who was his girlfriend asked me to just save the documents in the client folder and she would print them out and submit to the Court. I saved the revised documents in the client folder and that was that. Guess what? Unbeknownst to me the office manager used all of the correct documents, except that the proposed judgment she submitted to the Court was for $18,000.00. And the Judge signed the judgment for $18,000.00 even though the supporting documents all stated that the judgment was for only around $4,000.00. When I received the filed documents back from the Court I immediately noticed the error and notified the “attorney”. He told me to go ahead and try to collect the $18,000.00 judgment even though he knew for sure that the amount was not correct. 

Now that is scary.  And those are only a few of the stories that I have to tell. Stay tuned. More to come on Boobus Americanus and the legal system.

Boobus Americanus as attorneys, part two

I am back with Boobus Americanus as attorneys, part two.  As I mentioned in the first part, I have worked for many years in the legal field here in California and worked with quite a few attorneys. Some good ones to be sure. But I have also worked with some real “winners”.

Remember the pompous drunk I mentioned in my earlier post? I sure do, I doubt I could ever forget that guy unless they gave me a frontal lobotomy! I worked on a probate case for this guy where the woman who died owned like 20 acres of scrub-brush land in Nevada, and also a few acres out in the California desert. Well before I went to work for him, this “winner’ had filed a full blown probate case on her estate. The only problem was that she had sold her valuable residence back in 2001 or so. So the only assets left were several thousand in a bank account, the few acres out in the California desert, and the Nevada scrub-brush land.

The case had been filed and the probate referee had not appraised the value of the estate yet. This attorney had someone else working on the case who had said that, “the land out in the desert must be worth at least $30,000.00 or more”. Guess what folks, the California desert land was worth about $6,000.00 and there was about $5,000.00 in the bank, and the bank account could have been transferred without a probate.

This joker could have filed an easy probate and had the estate settled in about 2 months or less
without even going to Court!!But that would be too simple. And he could not bill as many hours that way.

Since the scrub-brush land was located in Nevada it could not be probated in California.  It was valued by the county assessor at slightly over $1,000.00. And that was probably inflated!!  It would cost almost what the land was worth just to get it transferred over.

There was probably more value in the rattlesnakes that lived on the land!! At least you could use them to make anti-venom for snake bites! Who knows you could probably have gotten some value out of the scorpions too!!  Why not. The land was not worth much.

The “guy from Arizona” wanted to coordinate the two probates!!  Give me a break.  Talk about a huge waste of money. And he was serious. He told me, “with all due respect we should start an ancillary (coordinated) probate in Nevada.” It would cost more just in the filing fees to do what he wanted than the land was worth! And his client would never respond to the letters that we sent to her regarding the estate. This guy had some of the worst clients I had ever dealt with.

I worked on another case where his buddy downstairs had prepared a trust for someone. There was also a will that had been prepared but the will was only signed by one person. The law in California states that a will must be witnessed by at least two persons. So the will was invalid, not even worth the paper it was printed on.

I did some checking on the pompous drunk online and found out that he was sued for malpractice only two years or so after becoming an attorney. And he did more appeals than you could shake a stick at. I looked at a few of the cases and this guy lost every appeal I looked at.  Twice he prepared and filed the wrong objection to a probate and the Court’s turned him down. Twice he appealed and lost.  I checked recently and found out that not only did his clients lose an arbitration case by someone who alleged that they defrauded them, but the person they defrauded had recorded some of the conversations.  They tried to get her in trouble but when it went to Federal Court the Judge ruled that she was justified in recording the conversations because she had a reasonable belief that a felony would be committed.  And while I was working for him these same clients wanted to resign from a certain organization of which they were members and he asked me to research to see if that organization could still press charges against them even if they resigned. I did the research and found out that they could in fact still press charges.

The joker’s office was something else. He had his offices on the second floor of an old building in an Orange County, California beach city. I worked in another office he had that was mostly used for storage on the first floor.  The building was very hard to find, even if you did a mapquest search the directions would not be correct.  Many of his clients had trouble finding his office.

There was a situation where the men’s restroom was locked and could not be used for around 2 weeks or so. Nobody could figure out why. Even when it was open there was usually no paper towels or soap. Right before I left someone had broken into the box that was used for outgoing mail. I had to walk about two blocks to place some outgoing mail
in a mail box down the street.

This guy was constantly asking me did you finish this work. I would tell him that I was still waiting for his client’s to give me the information that I needed to finish the work. The Friday before I left on a short vacation he called me around 4:00 P.M. to ask me if I could do some work on a probate case for one of his client’s because she was asking about it. I checked and his client had never responded and given his office the information that we needed.

This guy was constantly saying, “Oh I have plenty of work”. The fact is he went on vacations about every other week and many times while he was gone I would not come into the office for a day or so because I knew there was not enough work for me.  I was supposed to get about 30 hours a week of work. Most of the time I was lucky to get 20-25 hours a week. This guy would have his booze ready to drink before he had even left the office!!

Right before I left, in fact on my last day I came into the office and there were several cases that he wanted me to work on. I did the work and then he called downstairs all pissed off stating that I had not done the work right which was not true.  I had in fact done what he had asked. He then deducted some of my hours off what he owed me and wrote me a check. I did not object. I promptly took his check to his bank about two blocks away and cashed the check. There was no way I was going to take any chances on this guy. Good riddance to him.  I would rather sleep on a park bench than work for him again.

Stay tuned. More to come on the subject of Boobus Americanus as attorneys.

Boobus Americanus as attorneys

The topic of this blog post is Boobus Americanus as attorneys. In working in the legal field here in California for many years I have worked with quite a few attorneys. Some good ones to be sure. But I have also worked with some real “winners”.

Let’s examine this further. One attorney I used to work with is now facing federal charges for bribing a government employee, a federal one! And can you believe that the amount of the bribe was only $2,500.00? I could not believe it. Last June I was reading the local paper and what do I see but a news article detailing how this “attorney” who I can only describe as Mr. Magoo with a sheepskin, had just surrendered to federal authorities.  He was turned in by his own client who was so shocked by what this attorney suggested that he immediately contacted another attorney who informed the authorities. The attorney suggested that the client pay money to bribe a federal agent to tell the local DA that the client had cooperated in an important investigation so that the client could have his charges dropped.

I worked with this attorney for several years and frankly I was only a little surprised when I read the news article last June. This guy was something else!  The legal administrator who worked for his law offices had also previously faced some serious drug charges in the past.  I checked him out online after hearing rumors about his past and this guy had gone all the way to the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals regarding his conviction and lost. Big time case. They had worked together for around 20 years or so. I did not learn about any of this until after I stopped working with the both of them.

This guy was so stingy it is hard to describe. I was once working on a federal case for him and something needed to be filed in a Court that was over 100 miles away. And it had to be filed quickly. I suggested FedEx but he said that would cost too much money and sent it using the Postal Service. Needless to say it barely got filed in time. And all that just to save a few bucks. Not to make a federal case out of it but it was a federal case! What was Chintzy thinking?

I did not hear from Chintzy for several years when he called me a little over 4 years ago and wanted me to work on a probate case for him.  I was going to turn him down at first but the housing bubble was starting to burst and business had been getting slow. The husband of a neighbor of his had passed on. I should have turned the case down as soon as I saw the will. This thing was so vague and ambiguous as to how the property was to be distributed, at first I thought perhaps they had obtained it from a “Crackerjack”® box.  Instead of coming right out and stating that everything went to the wife it droned on and on without actually getting to the point. The husband had worked for a fairly large pharmaceutical company and had many stock options which had to be exercised before a certain date.  Chintzy had me prepare what is called a spousal property petition as supposedly the wife got everything under the will.

Chintzy had a secretary who had worked for him for quite a few years.  She is something else. She totally looks down on pot smokers (Chintzy, her boss, the “attorney” is or used to be a pot smoker) yet she cannot even tell the difference between the family law clerk’s office and the probate clerk’s office.  She dropped off the probate paperwork at the family law clerk’s office, as a result the filing of the probate case was delayed by at least a week or two. I have been going to the same courthouse for years and have never had a problem. The sign clearly says family law clerk’s office, and the probate clerk’s office is on the same floor and has a sign, just on the other side.  I mean Cheech and Chong could have read the sign and known where to go, and that is after they smoked up that whole van they were driving in Up in Smoke!  She should probably try smoking pot, it might actually raise her IQ!

The petition eventually got filed, and at the hearing the Judge told Chintzy that because the will was a “pour-over” will and gave everything to a living trust that he could not grant the petition. So now I had to prepare a regular probate petition. It took several hearings to get it approved as the original will, which Chintzy had prepared said on the first page that the couple had 4 children, that was crossed out and the number 2 was written in. This guy was so cheap he didn’t want to print out another page with the correct number. Now that is cheap!! This guy was not a penny pincher, he was a fraction of a penny pincher.  Because Chintzy was so stingy he did not want to print out another page I had to prepare a declaration to satisfy the probate checkers.

And to top it all off, I was only paid about half of what I had been promised. Oh well as they say you learn something new ever day. As soon as I got the check I took it directly to the bank and cashed it. I was not taking any chances on the money not being there.

Working with attorneys has been a real eye opener.  I look at it like playing cards. You never know what the next card will be. You could get an Ace, or even a Joker.

Or you could work with a pompous drunk. So out of it that they have no idea what is even going on in their law office. They attract bad cases like poop attracts flies.  All show and no go. I worked with one attorney who actually spent more money on a case involving a trust than what the trust had in the bank! Incredible. Most attorneys use the services of an attorney service, who for a flat monthly fee, does all of their routine filings for them. This guy paid a service from $50-75.00 for each document that they filed with the Court!  Of course the owner of the service was his buddy. He had another guy who had an office downstairs that he worked with who used to prepare trusts for some of the rich people who lived in coastal Orange County. This guy charged $200.00 just to make 4 copies of a trust, not to prepare the trust, just make copies. That is $50.00 just for a copy! And the trust guy was not even a licensed attorney!

He was describing one probate case to me and he was coming off just like Clarence Darrow. He was doing this and that for his client. When I looked the case up his client had never even  been named the Executor, and in fact there were NO assets in that probate estate. This guy was something else.

His office manager was his girlfriend. When I started working there I was speaking with his legal secretary who asked me if I knew that when he and the office manager went on vacation, which was about every other week, that they were both together. I told her that I had kind of figured that out already. She told me flat out, “You do not want to work here.” I eventually left after several months as I was not getting the amount of work that I was promised, among other things.

Funny thing is the guy was always accusing me of talking about his cases in public, when in fact I never mentioned anything. He must have been worried that I would figure out what he was doing.  Honestly I think the guy was a neocon moron.  And you know why? His girlfriend was okay looking, but an older blonde who had obviously spent too much time in the sun. And I hate to use a stereotype but she was a rather bitchy ditz.  Now the legal secretary on the other hand was well endowed shall we say , and she actually knew what she was doing. I would have had her as my girlfriend if I was him. But what can I say, I have strange tastes.

Stay tuned. More to come on the subject of Boobus Americanus as attorneys.

Boobus Americanus as a roommate

Watch out. Another sarcastic blog post about Boobus Americanus is here. Although to be truthful this one is more caustic than sarcastic.  The topic of this blog post is having Boobus Americanus as a roommate.

About 5 years ago I rented a room from a guy who was in his middle to late 30's.  I should have figured out what he was when I saw the cap that he usually wore which said, “Who give’s a rat’s a**.” But I needed a room.

He was the pompous roommate from hell. He thought he knew everything and treated everyone else like they did not know anything. He talked down to me like I was nothing.  He waited for over 8 months to finally ask me for my share of the utilities. What timing! I had forgotten about it and it was only 2 weeks or so until Christmas. I paid my share of course. But from then on I noticed that he would only pay the utilities every 2 months. He would post the bill up on the refrigerator and when I looked at it the last month’s bill it would be overdue and the shut-off date was about a week away.  Give me a break. This guy looked down on me and he could not even pay the utilities on time.  Hey dude it is not my fault that you cannot find a “sucker” to buy an overpriced crackerbox somewhere in Southern California!

And the location of the house was about 2 blocks from a train station. The trains came all night long, and most of the day as well.  They would always blow their train horns. I would just start to drift off to sleep and then another train would come along and blow their train horn. The good news is that once I finally went to sleep the trains no longer bothered me that much.  Then there was the weed whackers early in the morning. And the drunk pedestrians walking by on the weekends after the bars closed. My bedroom window was right next to the street in the front of the house.

And when I gave him notice that I was moving out this pompous drunk decided to play games with me.  He suddenly decided to invite all sorts of people over. It got so bad I could not even park in the driveway.  This pompous dipsh** gave me the treatment all right. Then he tried to charge me so he could get a new dryer, saying that I had overused it.  I then finally sent him a letter in which I informed him that if he reminded him that the dryer was so old that it should be in the Smithsonian, and that if he tried to charge me for it I would sue him. That settled him down real quick.

This guy was really something else. One minute he talked like a liberal, five minutes later he was talking like a, how shall I say, “conspiracy theorist.” He once told me that “Marx said that capitalism would eventually destroy itself.” Yeah right. Marx was supported by rich people dude! Get real.

You want my take on the subject? Okay here it is. Capitalism is breaking down because they are not “playing the game” as it was meant to be played.  The huge corporations own both the Democrats and the Republicans in my view. At least they own the elite ones, the establishment of both parties. And the real powers that be operate behind the scenes. Let’s get real folks. There is something rotten, and it is not just in Denmark. We have been had people. I wish I knew all the answers but I do not.

Now after that slight digression let me get back to the topic of this blog post. The next roommate I had can only be described as Boobus Americanus bitchy twittus. Seriously folks she was something else.  A presumptuous loud mouthed drunk. No wonder her boyfriend was in Alaska! That way he doesn’t have to put up with her all the time.

When I moved into the room I asked her specifically if I could bring a woman over if I happened to get lucky so to speak. She said that would not be a problem.   Then she complained about me going downstairs at night to get a snack. It got to the point where she did not want me to go downstairs after 8:00 P.M. And I was supposed to pay $1,100.00 per month, plus utilities! Give me a break.

And she was like Jekyll and Hyde. One minute she was just fine. Then all I did was mention how much I paid for my car registration and she says” Well I paid more than that. So don’t talk to me about it.”  I finally got sick of living with a loud mouthed sarcastic drunken twit. 

And to top it all off the condo was built back in the 1970's with aluminum wiring. That’s right. The same crap they used to use in older mobile homes.  I found that out when she had to call in an electrician because the old wiring had a problem and needed to be fixed.

And this condo was upscale. Right on Pacific Coast Highway in fact.  Every unit had their own boat dock. Then I gave her notice that I was moving out of state and would be selling my bedroom furniture. That is when she suddenly mentioned that only approved organizations were allowed in the condo complex, no individuals.  Somehow she had never brought that up before. She was just pissed off that I was moving and wanted to get back at me.  What a bitchy twit. She was 60 or so and acted like she was still going through menopause, or perhaps it was PMS.  Of course it was not her fault, with that type it is never their fault.   And folks I mean both men and women when I mean that type. It really does not matter.  Seriously.  The guy with the rat’s a** cap acted the same way.

Stay tuned. More posts to come on Boobus Americanus.

Boobus Americanus and the legal system, part two

Now for part two of Boobus Americanus and the legal system.  I have worked in the legal field in the State of California for a long time. And I have dealt with some people that are interesting to say the least.

As mentioned in part one of this series I have worked with numerous people who were representing themselves in Court. I will describe some of the situations below.

Just last year I worked with an older gentleman who was being sued by a collection agency for around $9,000.00 or so. He had been contacted by a different collection agency almost a year before he contacted me, they had offered to settle the account for $1,800.00. He did not take them up on their offer.  When he contacted me he wanted to object on the basis that the collection agency had bought the account for pennies on the dollar. He actually thought that would fly. Needless to say I had to tell him that would not work.  I did prepare his answer and some discovery questions and demands to the collection agency for information and documents.

He later contacted me again and wanted to countersue and take the case to federal court! He also brought up his original objection again. It was then that I realized that this guy would not stop believing that somehow he could win his case because the collection agency bought the debt for pennies on the dollar. And he also wanted to move the case to federal court as well!! I politely told him that I would be unable to assist him any further and that he should contact an attorney.

Months later I received an e-mail from him stating that he had in fact retained an attorney but that the attorney had let him down. And his trial date was about a week away. Frankly I did not even respond to his e-mail. That may sound mean but I do not agree.

This guy should have used his head. First off, he and his wife were collecting Social Security benefits, which are exempt from garnishment on a civil judgment under both California and Federal law.  In fact, the Court waived his filing fee because he and his wife only received about $1,500.00 a month. Anyone who has lived in California recently can tell you that is only enough to live in your car in California, an old car at that.

This guy should have told the collection agency to go pound sand. Go ahead and get your judgment. Good luck collecting on it. But instead he wanted to take the case to federal court no less!

And the people who are “smart” are in many cases the worst. They think their IQ of 190+ means they know everything. Not true. The law is what it is and the fact is that someone who expects it to be “rational” all of the time is going to be sorely disappointed. Just because you want the law to be a certain thing does not make it so.  The law was written by imperfect humans. And it is also interpreted by imperfect humans. If someone cannot grasp that I do not care how “smart” they are. I would prefer not to deal with them.  After all my IQ is only about 140, and that is on a good day.

And then there are the people like the woman I was trying to collect a judgment for. She thought that Duane “Dog” Chapman was going to find the guy and bring him to justice! Sort of like CSI-Los Angeles County!! Give me a break. People like that think the whole world is exactly like it is shown on television.  She is like many people I have dealt with who have totally unrealistic expectations.

Stay tuned. More to come on Boobus Americanus and the legal system as well as other discussions of Boobus Americanus.

Boobus Americanus and the legal system, part one

I cannot say enough about Boobus Americanus. I have held these thoughts inside of me for too long. I have to come out of the closet! I know many Americans who I admire greatly but let’s get real. When H.L. Mencken coined the term “Boobus Americanus” he hit the nail right on the head.

I deal with Boobus Americanus every day in my work in the legal field. And let me tell you I still think Mencken was making an understatement!  I really do. They seem to think that they are shopping all day. Everything is the same as it is in the department store. If they do not like what you are saying they will keep “shopping” until they find someone who will tell them what they want to hear. And they will most likely find someone. I work in the legal field and let me tell you there are people out there who will in fact tell them what they want to hear just so that they can take their money. Then when they do not win their “attorney” (and I use that term loosely) will point to the legalese in the retainer agreement that says something like, “Attorney has made no warranty or guarantee with reference to the success or outcome or amount, if any, which Client may be entitled to recover as a result of his claims.  Nothing in this Contract and nothing in Attorney's statement to Client shall be construed as a promise or guarantee, and all statements of Attorney on these matters are expressions of opinion only.” Are you starting to get the picture here folks? Life is not just one huge department store. After all the lawyer jokes you have seen did you still think that they are all like the attorneys you see on television? Wait, strike that. I forgot Boston Legal and a few other shows.  I know that there are some very good and honest attorneys out there. Frankly I have not met too many of them.

But I am digressing here. The topic of this blog post is Boobus Americanus. Specifically how Boobus Americanus snatches defeat from the jaws of victory in many of his dealings with the legal system.  The main mistake they seem to make is that they seem to vacillate between totally trusting in attorneys and thus getting screwed over, or they do not want to get involved with attorneys and therefore decide to represent themselves which results in many cases in screwing themselves over.

I have spoken with people who used their tax attorney to work on their divorce case and then wondered why they did not win in Court. Give me a break! Your tax attorney? What were you thinking?  If they are an attorney they must know the law right? No, they know the area of law that they specialize and work in all the time. That does not mean they know jacksh** about divorce law or any other kind of law.

Or they use their “business” attorney and then stick with the same attorney forever. I spoke with one women who had a divorce still not finished, after 13 years! What was your first clue that something was wrong? 

The old adage says something like “Anyone who acts as their own attorney in Court has a fool for a client.” And there is a lot of truth to that statement. Going into Court without an attorney is not an easy thing to do. Especially with some (although not all) Judges. It is like walking up to the batter’s box with 2 strikes against you before you even get a chance to look at a pitch.

And do you know why this is so? Because the lawyers run the whole show. Even though things have gotten better over the last say 20 or 30 years the legal system is still mostly run by lawyers, for lawyers. All the Judges used to be lawyers. And so on.

And the attitude of Boobus Americanus when they do go into Court without an attorney leaves a lot to be desired, to put it mildly.  They expect things like:

Expecting to win just because they deserve it. As in I don’t give a @#$% what the law says, I deserve to win.  Just because someone you know tells you that they heard of someone else who got lucky and won a case like yours does not mean that you will win. Legal cases are like snowflakes, each one is different. 

Having unrealistic expectations about what they can accomplish.  While some people do in fact obtain spectacular results by themselves that is usually due to a combination of the right kind of case coupled with hard work by that person, including a lot of research, either in the local law library, online, or a combination of both.

Trying to represent themselves in a complex case, such as a medical malpractice case using the assumption that if you get an attorney involved that will wind up costing you money. Get real!  If you have a good malpractice case or other type of personal injury case you will likely get more money if you find a good attorney. If you have a good case you should have no problem finding a good attorney to take your case on contingency. And if you do not have a good case then how can you expect to win, except through some miracle. Miracles do happen, even in Court, but not that often. Remember that 100% of zero is still zero. Zip, zilch, nothing. It is better to get 50% or 60% of something than 100% of nothing.

Expecting that the Judge will see things their way just because they are representing themselves. Hey you might get lucky, but if that is the only thing you have to rely on you might be better off trying to stand on quicksand.   Sure you may have a constitutional right to represent yourself in Court, but you also have a constitutional right to perform your own heart surgery, or your own root canal. Just because you have the right to do something does not mean it is a good idea to do it.  And believe it or not I sympathize with people who represent themselves. I really do.  I have worked with many of them.

The problem is that the educational system here in the United States has been so dumbed down it is incredible. Combine that with the fact that most people here actually seem to think that all they have to do is go into Court and tell the Judge that they are right and the other side is wrong and they are going to win.  They all want to know the ultimate motion or gimmick that they can use to win their case.  Give me a break.
I have news for them. All of the motions, etc., are all listed in the legal books. I cannot believe some of these people.  They think everything is like a late night TV commercial. And if you order right now you will also get free shipping!  And if you do not have what I want then you are just trying to get more money out of me.  Yeah sure dude. Anything you say, lol.

Stay tuned. More to come on Boobus Americanus and the legal system.

The various species of Boobus Americanus

There are many variations in the species of Boobus Americanus. Let’s explore several. But be forewarned that this blog post is politically incorrect to the extreme.  Actually that is an understatement.

Buffy has a sheepskin:

This type is usually female, politically “liberal”, and thinks that they know everything because they have a “degree”.  This type can best be described as “Buffy has a sheepskin”. They are “educated” in most cases but the education can best be described as taking a “silver spoon” and putting it on the left side of their mouth.  These are the types that look down their nose at just about everyone else but they have to hide their disdain for certain people, lest they show their true colors.  After all if they did show their true colors then the “true believers” might start to wonder what was going on. And we cannot have that can we.  Examples include but are not limited to, Barbara Boxer, Patt Morrison, and Nancy Pelosi.

There is a male sub-species of this type that is very similar to the female one. The main difference is that they are male (allegedly). These are the type that act very politically correct in public but if you look very closely at them you begin to see what they really are. Rich, elitist snobs who look down their nose at just about everyone else. And the “true believers” eat it up. Give me a break.  These people make me sick. They really do.

The right wing muffins:

The right wing ditzes, also known as a right wing muffin, or as I like to say, “they pop up on the  right side of the toaster.”

Now these women are something else. They’re a ditz but you can’t mention that, oh god no, because they’re a right winger. Translation, they are basically just a bitchy ditz who happens to be a right winger. Most (if not all) of these women are unbelievable.  Examples include but are not limited to, Michelle Bachmann, Ann Coulter, Sarah Palin and Condoleeza Rice.

I worked with one who basically fits the pattern perfectly. She has worked for the same attorney, (and I use that term loosely) for over 10 years. She totally looks down on pot smokers (her boss the “attorney” is or used to be a pot smoker) yet she cannot even tell the difference between the family law clerk’s office and the probate clerk’s office.  Several years ago she dropped off some probate paperwork at the family law clerk’s office, as a result the filing of the probate case was delayed by at least a week or two. I have been going to the same courthouse for years and have never had a problem. The sign clearly says family law clerk’s office, and the probate clerk’s office is on the same floor and has a sign, just on the other side.  I mean Cheech and Chong could read the sign and tell the difference, and that is after they smoked up that whole van they were driving in Up in Smoke!  She should probably try smoking pot, it might actually raise her IQ! Give me a break. My take on this species is this phrase, “they pop up on the right side of the toaster.” In other words they are a muffin, like most ditzes, they are just a right wing muffin.

Right wing dips**ts:

Almost always not so bright but full of bluster. They think George W. Bush was a great president, instead of a former Yale cheerleader who did more damage to this country than all of the previous presidents combined.  Give me a break.  He ran an oil company in Texas that was NOT profitable.  All he had to say was we need a “humble foreign policy” and even people like Lew Rockwell voted for him in 2000. Then again he was running against Al Bore, whoops, I mean Al Gore. What a choice, a sanctimonious windbag and a former male cheerleader. 

Examples include but are not limited to, Ken “Cakewalk” Adleman, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, and the "attorney" referred to earlier, who by the way is now facing federal charges on charges of bribing a government official.  Just had to put him in there. Sorry I just could not help it.

Yet these people will defend W almost to the death if need be.  After all he did what he had to do. 9/11 changed everything. Sure. It changed everything, no doubt about that. Only problem is the change was not for the better.  Ever get the feeling that W and Obama are not that far apart? I mean W gave us change too. And just like the change that Obama gave us, it was not for the better. Although I have to admit that Obama was more open about it, after all he did promise “change” as part of his campaign.

Stay tuned. More to come on the various species of Boobus Americanus.

Political science 101 as applied to Boobus Americanus

Politically speaking, Americans generally fall into three main types. Note that I am not including independents here because most of them, despite their being labeled an “independent” still lean towards one of these three main types.  They just shift their allegiance depending on how the political winds are blowing.  Or depending on what the media tells them if you are an old cynic like me.  H.L. Mencken nailed it when he coined the term "Boobus Americanus". You want to know about my politics? Fair enough. I am both the "commie, pinko fag" that the rightwingers all despise, and the "vast right wing conspiracy" that the leftwingers all hate. Now how does that grab you?

The “Liberals”: 

God these people make me sick! Talk about a “one trick” pony.  These people are like a broken record. If we just tax the hell out of each other then everything will be okay. After all “taxes are the price we pay for a civilized society.” Does that mean that you get a rebate if society is not civilized?  If that is true I want to apply for one right now. Should I ask Patt Morrison for the rebate?   God she looks like the inspiration for PMS medication. Give me a break.  I just totally oversimplified their position but then why not? That is what they do to their opponents.

I saw what most of these people really are when I was growing up. Sanctimonious phonies for the most part.  Although some are in fact sincere, they are mostly found in the rank and file.  All form and no substance.

These people are not liberals. They just hijacked the name. They are not even close to that. Unless you are registered down at “Liberal” (Democrat?) headquarters you can forget about them giving a damn about you. I know.  And to think I used to be a Democrat at one time when I was much younger. Oh well.

I learned that when I found out that up to 80-90% of “mental health professionals” are Democrats. They should really be called “emotional bureaucrats” because that is what most of them are. Consider all of the psychotropic drugs used by this profession. Even though their side effects are well known.  Did you ever see the movie, One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest? Give me a break. How can a profession such as that consist of 80-90% Democrats if they are truly liberals?

The only time these folks are “Liberal” is when they have to be to keep up appearances.  It wouldn't do to let the "true believers" see them as they really are.

The only thing that keeps their coalition together is that they have no other choice. A motley assortment of lemon suckers, minorities, and of course the Warren Buffets and the other rich Democrats at the top. They have to make sure that the great majority of the coalition stays just where they are. Otherwise they might leave the “plantation” so to speak. They need the “true believers” to stick around.

No matter how horrible a person is these people all have the same meaningless platitude. It is not just their fault, "it is everyone's fault." Where did these people get that saying. Oh, wait, now I remember. They heard it spoken by someone years ago when they were growing up and now they treat it with an awe and respect bordering on worship. It is not just an overused cliche. No sir. It is their dogma.  What a pile of horse manure. For the most part people are responsible for who they are.  And even the Liberals know it. They sure as hell do not use that phrase when they are discussing someone who is not a Liberal.  Now that in itself tells you that they do not really believe what they say.

The “Conservatives”: 

These are the “limited government” folks.  I was never that comfortable with all of their positions but then
at least some of them made sense. Although I know understand that they are just as phony as the Liberals.

Yuck. Fred Reed was right about them. http://www.fredoneverything.net/LibsAndCons.shtml
Then again he was right about the Liberals as well. 

The only time they want government to be limited is when it suits them. They have no problem with the government making 92 year old women take their adult diapers off so they can look through the sh** for possible bombs or weapons.  How limited is that?? 

These people make me sick too!! They want tax cuts. Hey dipsh**, how about reducing my taxes to nothing since I do not hardly make any money now. Thanks to your “free trade” agreements which are so wordy and verbose they make War and Peace look like a slim paperback.  Why do they have to be over 1,000 pages if they are about “free trade”? Answer that question for me.   Back when Reagan did his tax cuts the people who used to pay at a 70% top rate had it lowered to a 50% tax rate.  That is a full 20 point reduction in the tax rate. But the people who were paying 20% sure as hell did NOT have their taxes reduced to zero. Why not?  Nothing but vague platitudes and worn out slogans, just like the liberals. They just use different ones.

The only reason that they still have any followers is that the “Libs” are so outrageous they make them look reasonable. Joe Bageant was right when he said that one of the main reasons that poor white people do not vote for the Democrats is because the “Libs” are so damn haughty and sanctimonious. The rednecks know that even the “Cons” are screwing them over but at least they do not expect them to put up with all the bullsh** that the “Libs” do.  The two groups have what is called a “symbiotic” relationship.  The only reason that people put up with them is that the only alternative that they can see looks even worse.

And there used to be some of them who had a more freedom loving part to them. Like when then Senator Alan Simpson from Wyoming said he did not agree with the idea of having a National ID card back in the 1980's. I doubt that he thinks the same way now! Because if he still did there is no way he would have been appointed to anything in this political climate.

They are all form and no substance just like the Liberals.  Same horse manure. They just spread it on the other side of the barn. 

The “Libertarians”: 

Ah yes. My old “buddies”. They do have one good point. They understand that there is basically no difference between the “Cons” and “Libs”.  But then again even a broken clock is right twice a day as the old saying goes.  These people seem to think that all we have to do is bring back the gold standard, have everyone use private arbitration instead of the Courts and everything will be just fine.  Okay I admit that is just a bit of a generalization but it is not too far off the mark.  Many of them had no problem with the “free trade” agreements like GATT, NAFTA, and the WTO. Just mention “free market” or “free trade” and many of them fall into a trance like they are hypnotized or something.  I believe in the free market as much as anyone but these folks elevate it to the level of “dogma” and beyond. Even Murray Rothbard smelled a rat when it came to NAFTA. http://www.lewrockwell.com/rothbard/ir/Ch21.html

I have a few questions for them also. Who owns most of the gold in the world?  Let’s get real here folks. Just because you know a lot of people who own gold does not mean anything. I am willing to bet that individuals do NOT own most of the gold in the world.  And that is counting all the “preppers” out there that live out in the middle of nowhere and have a bunch of gold stashed away.

Really rich people and central banks most likely own most of the gold in the world. And if we did go back to the gold standard where would we get the gold to back the currency? Answer that question for me.  Oh I know, all those people they know who together do not own more than a few percent, if that, of all the gold in the world. And somehow that will be enough gold to back all of the currency that is needed to run a modern economy.  Come on folks. I thought you people were hip to the dangers of drinking flouridated water.

And why would all the gold dealers be selling gold in exchange for paper money if they thought that gold was such a great investment? Do not people when they enter into a transaction trade something of value for something that they value even more??? If I thought gold was going to $10,000.00 an ounce I would not sell any gold whatsoever. So why are all those gold dealers and sellers doing selling all that gold? Could it be the “greater fool theory” in action? I readily admit that gold is a very awesome looking substance and has many excellent attributes.

No doubt about that. Can you eat it? Pure gold may be soft enough to chew but not nutritious and probably toxic. Can you drink it? It does not melt until it reaches over 1,900F. Legend has it that Pizarro was forced to drink molten gold but since he is not around to enlighten us it is safe to assume that he did not enjoy the experience.  All we need is the gold standard back and that will solve everything.  How about all the panics (now called depressions) that occurred while the United States was still on the gold standard, like 1893, etc.  They do not seem to want to talk about that.  All the rich and powerful need to do under a gold standard is move a substantial amount of gold out of the country and that will cause a contraction of credit. They probably do not even need to do that since they control and/or own all the big banks. They just need to exercise their control over the money and stock markets to cause a contraction of credit.   They have done it many times before. And the gold standard will not change that fact. As Dick Eastman puts it do you really want to submit to the “tight harness of a gold standard”. A few years ago I would most likely have answered yes but not now.  Considering that the really, really rich people and their known and unknown agents, associates, etc., most likely own or at least control, most of the gold in the world. Sure we all know someone who owns a few ounces, or even a few bars but that does not constitute most of the gold in the world.

I get the feeling that they are just “cherry picking” like just about everyone else. Hey we all do that to some extent but should we not get all of the facts out there.

And why don’t you ever talk about the proposal made by Lysander Spooner over 100 years ago for an alternative currency that does NOT involve either gold or silver backing.  http://lysanderspooner.org/node/40

Also see his comments on the use of gold and silver as a currency. http://lysanderspooner.org/node/49

He is certainly mentioned for his other works on other subjects such as trial by jury, and of course the “constitution of no authority”. Yet until the other night I had NO idea that he had proposed an alternative currency.  And he makes a lot of sense too. His currency could NOT be moved out of the country like gold and silver could.  Of course they will not talk about that because they are “true believers” in the gold standard.  They are too afraid to venture too far from their theory (dogma).

I hate to end this blog post on a sorry note but what else can I say. We are royally screwed and for the most part we have done it to ourselves. We let the media manipulate us and herd us into one of the three main types mentioned in this blog post. 

Stay tuned. Much more to come.